When Joel came to me, early in our marriage, and said-I
think God is calling me into ministry, my first reaction was….better check that
call again cause I’m pretty sure it was a WRONG number!!! I wasn’t excited then
and to this day I struggle asking God, why me?! At the time I wasn’t really
focused on church. I loved attending but also loved going to the bars, having
drinks with friends, cursing when I was mad and not feeling guilty about it.
You know, the kind of Christian most are-the Sunday Christian. I soon realized
Joel’s passion for the church was stronger than my fear and saying “no” to God
wasn’t really an option. So we began the journey and it’s been a long road of
ups and downs.
Let me also say upfront…the good times far outweigh the bad
and the lives impacted are worth every “flogging” we get. Also, these issues I’m
speaking of aren’t directly related to the current church we’re serving at but
all churches. I’m blessed to be friends with many pastors wives and I know
these issues are universal.
So here’s my issue and my struggle-a sneak peek into my
weaknesses. Church is nothing more than a building filled with sinners. We ALL
fall short, we ALL sin but when it comes to church-I don’t think Obama himself
deals with more politics! There is more entitlement in a church than in my 4
year old’s preschool class! (and we all know how 4 year olds feel entitled to
everything!). I’m tired of hearing things like, “my” church, “my” worship, “my”
“my” “my”!! Only second to “they.” “They”
keep complaining, “They” don’t like it when… “They” “They” “They” We can’t have
the color of our pews changed, “they” won’t like that! Or, you can’t play that
kind of music in “my” church. So the entitled do what comes natural-they
complain. They find someone who agrees with their cause and begin to sharpen
their blades.
And who gets the blame, the pastors-the ones there paid to
spend their day praying, reflecting and making changes direct to improve the church.
Those paid to be kingdom minded-not “my” minded. So stay with me-churches hire
pastors to vision cast-pastors spend time praying, seeking and impacting, make
changes to grow and reach more lives only to be crucified by the entitled
(Still with me?!)
A good friend and our former pastor, Ron Otto said this
about Sacrifice and it has always stuck with me:
Sacrifice is giving up something you love for something you
love more.
You may love the color of those pews-you may love the way
worship was done-you may love the time in the service where you shook hands-but
if you love Christ more, you’ll stop being “my” minded and allow the pastors to
lead a kingdom minded church.
Specific to pastors wives, my issue is this: who do I have?!
Who can I talk to?! I can’t discuss church problems with church members-that’s
gossip. What about problems with my husband?! When we have problems, who can I
talk to?! I Can’t talk to church people-that could risk his job. Congregation
members don’t want to know their pastors have real life problems and old school
pastors wives are used to hiding that. Long gone are the days where the wives wear
dresses and play the piano. That stigma is gone.
Back to the church as a whole:
Joel and I try teaching Nevaeh about the time she takes looking
in the mirror. We got great advice from our friend Tricia who also does this
with her daughters. We tell our children when they take time looking in the
mirror at themselves they aren’t looking outward at people around them in need.
This goes for people in the church too. As a church body, we spend so much time
fighing with each other we forget to look around. We want our church to grow
but not at the expense of change. We have a handful of Christians who come
every Sunday (and usually only Sundays) who don’t like something that happened
in the service (music, announcement, changing of stage etc) and feel entitled
to complain. How dare they change, “my” service. Worse yet is when leaders back
into corners afraid of hurting peoples feelings. When did God or Jesus back
down from something they knew was right because they were afraid of hurting
peoples feelings?! Wasn’t it Jesus who went into the temple courts and turned
over the tables!? When people in the church were acting like fools, he told
them! Sure he used words a lot nicer than I would but he didn’t
back down. He was bold, blunt and took action.
Scripture tells us to “be alert”, “resist the enemy” (1Peter
5:8,9) be on your guard and “stand against the schemes of the devil”.
(Ephesians 6:11) So when irritation strikes … know immediately who your
opponent is … know immediately he has schemes and plans in place that will at
best steal from you and at worst destroy God’s people and their effectiveness.
Another problem I see overwhelming is Pride. A great article
titled, The Hurting
Church: Why we get hurt and hurt others, said this about Pride,
“God resists, or
opposes, the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
(James 4:6) Pride is a killer. It is one of the subtlest tools of the enemy.
God actually resists the proud! Who would want to be opposed by God! Yet in the
church we often do find pride, but it wears a different cloak than it does out
in the world.
I pray for our church that Joel and I are blessed to serve
at. It has its ups and downs-right now we need more prayer than usual but God
is faithful in good times and bad. Joel has a gift for seeing vision in a
church. He’s passionate about the church. I love that about him. Truth is,
there are still days when I think-just give it up! Many days I wish I could go
back to being a Sunday Christian and not working in ministry but as I said
earlier, every impacted life is worth every “flogging” we take. I’m sure all in
ministry would agree-it takes a special person to be ran through the ringer
each and every week-to be criticized and hurt. A special person-like Jesus who
took so much more than these little complaints. Truly it’s an honor to suffer a
little for the one who suffered it all.
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